guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
