used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
