Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
