i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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