She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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