Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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