I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
