My friends, they love my intelligence
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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