So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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