I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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