woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
