hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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