OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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