2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
nutella sex= disaster
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
