I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
