evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
