For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How external is "for external use only"?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
