When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
