Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
