Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize