He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
