i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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