You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
