This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
