singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
