you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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