look no pants
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
