New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
