yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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