Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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