Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
