How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
