Sry I called you an 8
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
