once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
