Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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