I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
