med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
