Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
