Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
