please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
