The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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