So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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