Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
