I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
