You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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