how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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