Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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