Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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