Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
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