Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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