Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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