I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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