this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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