Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
