I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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