oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
