piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
